I feel like one of my best traits is the ability to see the positive in any situation. I don’t let things keep me down for long. There’s always a way to make lemonade. It may be terribly sour, but hey…some people like it that way.
Ending a marriage is a big deal. It is a huge life change. And a lot of it really freaking sucks. You have to get over the fact that your entire life has changed. Your thoughts about the future are now all wrong. You’re not going to grow old with that person. You’re not going to save up and buy that bigger house together. You’re not going to embarrass your kids together on their first date. It’s a lot to wrap your head around.
But just because it’s a big deal doesn’t mean it’s a bad deal. Make some lemonade, my friends. You can still grow old, just maybe with someone who doesn’t hog the covers. You can still buy a bigger house, just maybe with someone who actually enjoys gardening. You can still embarrass your kids, just maybe with a new duet partner. Or hey, maybe you’ll do all that stuff on your own. AND THAT’S OKAY TOO.
It’s time to stop thinking about the negatives of divorce. We all know there’s a lot. Let’s focus on the positive. Here are ten awesome things that you may not have thought about before. Ten awesome things about divorce.
- You can set the thermostat to whatever you want. Were you married to a furnace? Was your house always scarf and parka weather? Turn that AC off and open the windows, darling!
- You get to choose what’s for dinner. Did your partner hate asparagus with every fibre of his or her being? Did you go years without freshly grown summer asparagus? Does reading that sentence make your mouth just water? Well, buck up, my love! It’s asparagus time.
- You don’t have to choose a side of the bed. I spent over a decade sleeping on the right side of the bed. When we split up I started sleeping on the left, out of defiance. Then I went back to the right side, out of habit. Then I slept in the middle for awhile. Wanna know where I sleep now? Wherever the fuck I want.
- You can be as late as you want. Don’t have the kids? Out for a drink with friends? Another friend shows up just as you’re about to leave? Stay! Catch up! Don’t worry about your spouse being upset that you’re late. You have no one to text, nothing to explain.
- You can spend twelve straight hours watching Netflix. Okay so you may not WANT to spend that much time watching Netflix, but you know what I mean. You know what show I just watched in its entirety? Pretty Little Liars. Why? I don’t know. It popped up in my recommended shows. I’d never seen it before. I’d never had an ounce of interest in it before. But I had nothing else to do. So I watched it. (I should say that I didn’t watch it in its entirety ALL AT ONCE. It took awhile.) But you don’t have to worry about someone saying, “The new episode of Game of Thrones is on!”, or “Give me the remote, the Superbowl is starting!” Nah, bro. You watch what you want, judgment free. Trust me. It would need to be judgment free for me to watch seven hours of entitled rich white girls running from one party to the next. Really though, how did they have that many parties to go to?
- Pick your own pet. Are you a cat person? Was your spouse allergic to cats? That’s a good reason to be a dog family. But now you’re on your own! Get a cat! Get five!
- Take up the entire closet. Really. It is such an amazing feeling. I have his and hers closets in my bedroom. They are now mine and mine closets. Everything is sectioned so nicely. It’s so well organized and planned out and beautiful. Just thinking about my closet gives me warm fuzzies.
- Be your own interior designer. I have a rug in my living room. My ex-husband would have HATED it. He’s seen it – I’m sure he does hate it. I haven’t asked, because I don’t care. When I was shopping for it, I sent a picture to a group of my friends. Most of them were super polite and said, “Well it’s not my taste but…” But you know what? It’s my taste. I bought it. I love it. I picked out my couch. I picked out my coffee table. The art on my walls? I picked it. The fireplace in my living room? My decision. Everything in my house is there because I want it there. It is an amazing feeling.
- Splurge a little. I’m not saying live beyond your means, because that’s something you shouldn’t do whether you’re in a relationship or not. But once in awhile, treat yourself. Buy a new dress. Get your haircut at a fancy salon. Go to a baseball game. Buy a freaking chocolate bar. Whatever. Don’t ask permission, don’t ask forgiveness. Recognize that you’re worth it.
- This is a lot of things in one, but mainly it’s just this: be autonomous. Pee with the door open if you want. Sing at the top of your lungs in the shower. Drive with the windows down. Eat ice cream out of the carton on the couch in your underwear. Make your own decisions. Live your own life. You don’t have to answer to anyone. Yes, sometimes it’s lonely. But at the end of the day, it’s worth it. Maybe you won’t grow old with the person you thought you would. But the only person that you need to make yourself happy is YOU.