A very important list

Posted on by thirtyandcounting

I love lists.

I do. I write lists constantly.  It helps with my anxiety to see things on paper in front of me.  To-do lists are everywhere in my world.  Organization is beauty for me; it’s one of the reasons I love my job.

I also apparently love choosing the wrong guy. I am really good at it.  I find someone that seems so good for me, and then…they aren’t.  I need to break out of the patterns I have created for myself.  I need to be specific.  I need to be picky.

So, in true Brianne fashion, I have created a list of qualities that a potential partner must have. No settling.  Not anymore.  I’m too old to settle and I have two amazing little girls that don’t deserve to have someone in their life that isn’t going to be there long term, or isn’t going to be a positive role model.

There are some incredibly random items on this list, but trust me: they are all there for a specific reason. I am an open book – if any items need clarification or explanation, I’d love to provide it.

  • Tall (5’10 or above)
  • Well groomed
  • Smells good
  • Has post-secondary education
    • Doesn’t matter what type of PSE
    • Doesn’t matter if they graduated or with what degree/diploma/certificate
  • Has a stable job
  • Owns a car
  • Lives on his own (not with parents, roommate, etc.)
  • Owns at least one suit
  • Good grammar/spelling
  • Smart
  • Good sense of humour
    • Is funny
    • Thinks I’m funny
  • Can participate in witty banter
    • Sarcastic
    • Appreciates my sarcasm
  • Good relationship with parents, but not overbearing
  • First date must be an actual date
  • Friendly with wait staff, store clerks, etc.
  • If he has kids, must see them on a very regular basis
  • Likes at least one sport
  • Can recognize at least one Matthew Good song
  • Punctual
  • Swears, but not every other word
  • Doesn’t vape
  • Drinks but not every night, and not to excess
  • Does not speak negatively of any exes
  • Self-sufficient
  • Smiles in photos
  • No earrings
  • Treats me with respect
  • Trusts and is trustworthy
  • Not sexist/racist/homophobic/anything douchey

Published by thirtyandcounting

Starting fresh at 30(ish).

12 thoughts on “A very important list”

  2. I like your list. It seems pretty comprehensive. Just curious, since writing have you wished to put anything else on the list? Random idea…..excessive video game addict, bad favourites list on Netflix.

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      1. Since I wrote this about a month an half ago, I am not sure what I meant by this comment. Maybe I meant a bad Netflix favourites list would be a turn off….or maybe it would be the mark of an eclectic soul. I really don’t know.
        I am pretty sure I wasn’t thinking about those guilty pleasures that we all watch but can’t readily admit to in public.

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      1. I’m just noting that he fits just about every one of the points on this list. I mean, if you’re not into him, I get it and it’s okay but my point stands that even when you have a guy that fits this list, it still may not be right because there’s so much more to it than a list or you have found someone that fits the list and you’re still not happy… depends on what way you want to look at it.

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  4. Tall (5’10 or above) – is this height required of a female aswell?
    Well groomed – what if its a well groomed, like hipster beard and man bun
    Smells good – what’s good? what cologne is Terrible and brings back traumatic memories
    Has post-secondary education
    Doesn’t matter what type of PSE
    Doesn’t matter if they graduated or with what degree/diploma/certificate
    Has a stable job – does anyone have this anymore? can it be stable part-time or stable self imployed
    Owns a car – what if he’s financing… then the bank owns it. what if it’s a motorcycle or van?
    Lives on his own (not with parents, roommate, etc.) what if he lives with his kids? what’s wrong with a roommate if they are cool (remember I told you about all the match making I have done? my husband, claires, Corina’s and Kat’s fiance all had roommates at the time they started dating. I myself had 2 roomates until 31. And with one bedrooms sitting at $1000+ wouldn’t it be better if someone was paying $500 and saving for a home?)
    Owns at least one suit, what if it no longer fits?
    Good grammar/spelling
    Smart
    Good sense of humour
    Is funny
    Thinks I’m funny
    Can participate in witty banter
    Sarcastic – is this essential? cause sometimes sarcasm is mean spirited instead of funny
    Appreciates my sarcasm (yours is awesome though)
    Good relationship with parents, but not overbearing
    First date must be an actual date
    Friendly with wait staff, store clerks, etc.
    If he has kids, must see them on a very regular basis
    Likes at least one sport – to watch or play?
    Can recognize at least one Matthew Good song – whyyyyyyyy?
    Punctual
    Swears, but not every other word
    Doesn’t vape – but I feel like this would be less carcinogenic than smoking a pipe or joint or bong
    Drinks but not every night, and not to excess
    Does not speak negatively of any exes
    Self-sufficient
    Smiles in photos
    No earrings
    Treats me with respect
    Trusts and is trustworthy
    Not sexist/racist/homophobic/anything douchey

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    1. No, women may be shorter than 5’10”. In fact, I prefer shorter women.

      Man bun and hipster beard are gonna be a no-go for me. I like facial hair, but not enough to actually call it a beard lol.

      Good is subjective for sure. Basically not like a gym locker. A smell that will linger after they leave, in a good way. A smell that will stick to their sweaters when I borrow them.

      Stable can be part-time and/or self-employed. They just need to HAVE a job and not go from job to job every couple of months like someone I used to know :(. Although he did smell amazing.

      Omg Kristina. Lmao. Leased/financed/rented/stolen…whatever. He has access to a car and a license that has not been suspended for failure to pay child support or drunk driving.

      Subjective…obviously can live with his children. Roommates…depends. Is he living with roommates to save for a house? Does he own a house and rent a room to his friend? Or does his live in a dirty, smelly house with five of his closest frat brothers?

      Why doesn’t his suit fit anymore? And why hasn’t he bought a new one?

      He doesn’t NEED to be sarcastic, but needs to understand the basics of sarcasm because it is my first language.

      Sports – watch or play. He doesn’t need to be athletic. Just a fan of any sport. Even badminton.

      Because it is important for us to have common interests! I love Matt Good! Doesn’t need to know the name of the song, but just able to recognize his voice.

      I realize that vaping is healthier than cigarettes or joints. But…I just can’t get behind it, KS. I just can’t.

      Is this enough clarification? Haha.

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      1. I own a three piece suit that no longer fits. I haven’t bought a new one because I have no need of one at this time. I do however have plenty of shirts and pants and jackets to throw on if a suit is needed, just not a tailored one.
        Though my beard is more than a little. I also have long hair and earrings. Guess I’m out of the running 😦

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