Think of the goal. The endgame. Typically when you’re dating, you’re looking for the one person. Your forever person. Your home. The one person with whom you want to grow old. The one that you want to wake up next to every morning for the rest of your life. That is what we’re looking for. That’s the objective. That’s why we put ourselves through the torture of dating. We want the happily ever after: that’s our definition of a successful relationship.
But…if you are with someone until you die…you’re with ONE person until you die. That means that you can only have ONE successful relationship IN YOUR LIFE. Think of how many relationships you’ve had? Maybe you haven’t had many. Maybe you were really lucky and you met your soulmate in preschool and you will die in each other’s arms at 102. But probably not.
I’m not even asking how many RELATIONSHIP relationships you’ve had. They don’t have to have been defined, or exclusive, or long term. It could be an ongoing flirtation at work. It could be someone with whom you went on three dates and called it quits. It could just be someone you admired from afar for years before realizing that they can’t put together a coherent sentence to save their life.
My point is, you’ve probably had a few. And let’s say that you DO end up with one person for the rest of your life. Your success rate is still incredibly shitty. I don’t mean to be pessimistic here, but I’m going to say that 99% of relationships are going to fail. I think that’s a generous percentage. It’s really probably more like 99.9999999999999999999…%, but I don’t want to seem cynical.
So what’s the point of getting emotions involved? I’d much rather keep one foot out the door and protect myself. That way the second something goes wrong I can run. I mean, yeah, maybe it’s an overreaction to someone switching the radio station when it’s a song I really like. They don’t know I secretly love Duran Duran. But ultimately the relationship is more than likely doomed from the start. So if they tilt their head to their right to kiss and I tilt my head to my left, it’s just not going to work. Why try. It all ends up hurting anyway.