Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else’s war against themselves.

  1. I need you to watch the kids tonight and Wednesday after work because I have dates.  And not even with Jessica! She’s on the weekend.
  2. I’m not letting you have the house.  We can sell or you can buy me out.
  3. Show me your google maps.  I need to see where you were this weekend.  Show me right now.  What do you have to hide? Let me see where you were.
  4. You don’t care about the kids.  If you cared, you would have been here this weekend.  You didn’t deserve to talk to them.  Isabel was crying for you all weekend and I told her she couldn’t call you because you were too busy to talk to her.
  5. I am going to be extremely unpleasant going forward.  You don’t get friendly.
  6. We are selling this house.  You need to get a line of credit.  I am not paying for getting the house ready to sell.
  7. You gave up on our family for a weekend of sex.
  8. How do we explain to Isabel that mommy doesn’t love daddy anymore and daddy has to leave to live all by himself.  Daddy wants to change and be the best for mommy, but mommy doesn’t want that.
  9. Please, what could I have done differently?  Please, I need closure.  Please, why could I not have fixed it? Why was last week not enough to show you that our family is worth saving and keeping together?
  10. Isabel is going to hate me.  She won’t understand that you’re making me leave.  This is all your decision and I am the one who will look bad to Isabel.  This is so unfair!
  11. I could have forgiven you for everything.  But not this.  For turning your back on our family and forcing me out.  Our child is going to hate me because of this.
  12. You met with a realtor? You want to sell the house? You don’t want to work on us?
  13. Why can’t we work on this? Didn’t I show you that I can change?
  14. I was so good to you last weekend, isn’t that enough to show you that I am a different person?
  15. Please, why can’t we just work on this, on keeping our family together?
  16. This is all on you.  You are the one breaking our family apart.  You are the one forcing me out.  Why can’t you take responsibility for this? I did nothing wrong.
  17. Please, throw out the papers from the realtor.  We can work on this.
  18. You will never, ever find anybody else.
  19. No one will ever love you.
  20. You are worthless.
  21. You are a slut that no one will ever love.
  22. I can’t believe you won’t take responsibility.  This is all on you.

These are things my ex-husband said to me before I left. These were all said in one day, in less than 12 hours.  This is emotional abuse.  This right here.  I’m done pretending it isn’t.  I’m done pretending that I’m not a victim.  I am.  I don’t want to be.  I don’t want to admit that I am.  I don’t want to admit that I let myself get this deep.  I don’t want to admit that I let someone have so much control over me.

I am not weak.  I am scared.  I am lonely.  I have no idea what the future holds for me.  I don’t even know what tomorrow will be like.  But I am not weak.  I will be strong.  I will be brave.  If not for me, then for the two amazing little girls who need me to be strong for them.

“Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else’s war against themselves.” – Lauren Eden


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